Even when I'm not trying

So, I'm in Austin. We're at a restaurant. We're about to leave. Then, suddenly, there is a loud crash and liquid begins to fall on me. No, it's not thunder and then rain..it's not a bomb and debris..it's the tray of drinks from the table behind us and the waitress drops , like, the whole thing down my back. I rise b/c i notice i'm getting wetter and wetter and there is a HUGE puddle in my seat. and also ice and glass everywhere. Fortunately, I had on a hoodie and it took most of the ..whatever, but my tush was pretty wet as well. Additionally, my hair got a little wet. Though the waitress insisted it wasn't alcohol or was watered down, my jacket smelled of rum and my hair got crunchy that afternoon, clearly indicating sugar was part of the occasion. My point is, friends, I don't even have to try, this stuff just comes naturally.